LA LA Leas: 6 months in

Hello Friends!

This post brings some (semi) Deep Feelings and (semi) Big Thoughts, so steady yourselves! 

Really it has been an interesting experience to do this, if for nothing else than to see how living in Paradise stacks up in reality. I know for sure that we left a lot of jealous people in the UK when we said we were doing a stint in LA, so this is the ‘six month in’ retrospective, which revolves around the following themes:

1. Things are not always what they seem.

2. Even in paradise, you still get parking tickets, step in dog shit, and kids scrape their knees.

3. Be thankful for what you got.

4. Still, you should really, really try to get to California. 

Are you ready? Here goes:

1. Things are not always what they seem.

So: the titties (everywhere - perfect orbs glide motionless on jogging women). The blondes (me included). The price labels (do not reflect what you pay at checkout). The postcards/ FaceBook pictures (say - May Gray? June Gloom? Did no-one care to mention these glitches in the endless sunshine?).

2. Even in paradise…

Yep - more parking tickets than I’ve ever had in my life. I think we’re up to 5 ($53 each) so far. The day-to-day stresses have probably been the most surprising (and difficult) part of our experience so far. I’ve made a couple of friends with other British mums out here, and this is what we gripe over when we meet up for play dates: the cost of groceries and limping to the end of each financial month due to the cost of things; the hidden extra costs everywhere; kids’ challenging phases and stages (plenty this end in the last month!); threat of eviction due to landlord selling property (!) etc. Oh and there are a lot of dogs here, hence the dog shit… I won’t go on, but suffice it to say, there have been quite a few tears shed in the last month!

3. Be thankful for what you got

Fear not, in the last couple of weeks, things have regained a more even keel, and I have once again been able to notice and appreciate what I have here. I’ve had more time with my pAl than in the last few years, and he is still hilarious, and annoying, and lovely, and handsome, and interesting  (jesus, I would have thought we’d be sick of each other by now). The boys are growing and thriving, especially our Mr Sid, who has learnt to enjoy reading, throw, and count in tens in an American accent. He has loads of friends at school and is an ever more confident, sociable and joyful boy. That said, he misses his UK friends like mad, and I keep finding little notes with his friends’ names on them along with hearts and ‘BFF’ annotations. Alfie too is growing and exploring the volume of his voice (!) and his vocabulary (he is currently ‘unconcerned’). He has an amazing nursery school and that - and the friends and support I’ve found there - have saved our sanity. Surprisingly, he is the one who has struggled most to deal with the transition. I had expected this intrepid go-getter to sail through this experience, but he has been the most unsettled, perhaps because - although he knows it’s temporary - he doesn’t understand quite how long a week or a month is, and therefore is never quite sure when we will be going home. I think this perhaps partly explains some of the challenging behaviour of late.

While on the ’thankful’ theme, I am floored on an almost daily basis by something in the environment around me - elements of paradise like seeing dolphins (and whales!) from our sitting room window/ on the walk to school, the tiny, blissful humming birds, and the bright warming sunshine glinting on the majestic Pacific Ocean.

A last thought on this theme is how precious our friends and family members are. FaceTime and WhatsApp do NOT make up for the simple comforts of those weekly mum catch ups, 20 minute phone conversations about nothing after the kids have gone to bed, and school-gate catch-ups with people who are on the same cultural plain as you. Since being out here I have also missed out on people going through some big life moments (from the first 6 months of someone’s life, to bereavement, to unexpected shifts in life plans), and I regret not being there to share in those, give hugs, listen and join in those girls nights out to chew the fat. I know sometimes these day-to-day exchanges seem mundane and everyday, but please, friends - seize and relish them!

4. Get to California.

We’ve tried hard, but we’ve decided that we are not enamoured of Los Angeles. California, however is a different matter: this is the most astonishing and awe-inspiring state and we just love it. The scale and diversity of the natural and geographical phenomena here are just staggering. 

Joshua Tree National Park is astonishing not just for these weird Dr. Seuss-style trees, but also for its colossal rounded boulders and its amazing desert flora and fauna. Plus the lushness of that dry desert heat on your skin can’t be beaten (in my humble opinion). 

We went to Grand Canyon with Al’s Mum (okay - Arizona, not California). We had been before in 2007, but even that doesn’t prepare you for the sensation of coming out of the pine forest to be suddenly on the edge of the most astonishing precipice that just goes down. and down. and down, and then miles across before the other side. My photos do not do it justice.

With my Mum and Dad we went to the Sierra Nevada foothills and to Sequoia and Yosemite National Parks. Trees and Granite cliffs on an indescribable scale. Getting there (and back) took a lot of driving, but - avoiding the Freeway - we drove through some truly breath-taking scenery including orange groves in full flower backed by the snowcapped mountains (wind the windows down and inhale that scent!), and winding mountain roads with sheer drops (yikes!).

___

And so - 3.5 months left! Our new life philosophy is to be conscious of what makes us happy and seize every opportunity that might bring that about. As a result, tomorrow we’re off to buy a family-sized tent to begin on some camping adventures, and I’ve got a 4-day dash to Somerset next weekend for Lizzie’s wedding. She’s probably the longest-standing friend I have in my phonebook and I wouldn’t miss it for the world (with a huge debt to Al who is dutifully staying here to manage home life and entertain boys).

Well done if you’ve survived this post and made it this far - apologies for the length and depth of this post, but it feels good to have got it off my (all natural) chest! Thanks. Next post: more frippery and ephemera.

Big love to you all, and see you at the end of the summer (apart from those of you I’ll see next weekend on the dance floor) xxx

Driving through the Sierra Nevada in Sequoia National Park

Picnicking in front of El Capitan in Yosemite (can you see the rock climbers?)

Truck enjoying a desert sunset

The Grand Canyon

Joyful Mr Sid

Joshua Tree boulders

On Safari

So, Al's come round to seeing there is some value in the blog, and we're pleased to have had so many encouraging (and, I must add, slightly envious) words from you all too.

Only just over two weeks to go now - it's flown by so fast - but I guess that's still time enough for a pretty decent holiday. We're off to the Oregon coast now for shell-seeking, sandy walks, and perhaps even a dip in the Pacific (though the coast north of San Fran is meant to be cold, so perhaps just a truly British paddle-with-the-trouser-legs-rolled-up).

Bye-bye National Parks

We're leaving the national parks behind for now, though we got a decent dose of America-the-Beautiful over the last week in the Grand Teton National Park and Yellowstone - two very different experiences bang next to each other in Northern Wyoming.

Yellowstone obviously the more famous of the two. Yes, a truly impressive park in many ways - incredible geo-thermic features given it's on the juncture between two pretty darned big tectonic plates (oh, geography GCSE. How you come back to haunt me). It's also the substantial home to grizzly bears and their cousins the black bears, bison and wolves, amongst many others. And therein lies the rub. Yellowstone, despite its awesome physical beauty and vastness, is essentially a safari park. Like hoardes of groupies in 4x4s (and the occasional Chevy Cobalt), we wait for the celebrity wildlife to grace us with a viewing. We got stuck in countless 'wildlife jams' (yes, it's an official term) as people stop to take pictures of yet more bison, or stop because other people have stopped and they might have seen a bear.

Okay, so perhaps that sounds a little bit cynical. We had the most amazing evening drive along the Lamar Valley to see belligerent bison kick up dust and shake their Elvis-like hairstyles in efforts to please the girls. However, we've been so spoilt in this country with having sensational landscapes and wildlife more or less to ourselves, and I guess Yellowstone in August was just a bit claustrophobic for us. Or maybe it's just that we didn't see a bear when every other darned visitor did (yes, including you, Mr. 'I'm-only-here-2-days-and-I've-already-seen-four-grizzlies-and-a-black-bear'. That is not an endearing response to our no-bear plight).

Grand Teton (pronounced teet-on... no sniggering at the back) National Park was one of our favourites so far. Its backbone is the Grand Teton mountain range (coming to an advert near you soon - it's a favourite backdrop with admen, apparently) - complete with glaciers and (as global warming plays its part) ever-decreasing ice fields. This was also a fitting backdrop to what we hope can serve as the official engagement photo (right). The Snake river begins here and is the envy of fly-fishers the world over (it's home to the indigenous cut-throat trout). The river is pretty magnificent, especially on the 7a.m. 'float' trip. Al and our 5 fellow (ahem) 'floaters' were treated to the sight of four bald eagles during our serene 2-hour drift down the river. We'd definitely recommend it to anyone keen on a bit of hiking and fresh air.

American Loyalty

So, the coast beckons again. Heading North out of Yellowstone and into Montana, we stumbled across Missoula - home to the University of Montana and the famous Montana Grizzlies football club (which doubtless you will have heard of). Here we bumped into just one of many examples of how our American friends differ from us Brits - the inordinate amount of pride they have in where they live. In our 2 days in Missoula, countless people told us how lucky we were to have found Missoula, what a great place it was and what we had to see while we were there. They all offer unswerving support to the local college football team - the town sells out every time there's a game. Perhaps this starts to explain why we see 'Support our troops' stickers on so many cars (far outnumbering any contrary voices). Americans seem unswervingly loyal to their own.

However, Missoula was a great town. A fantastic dinner at Scotty's Table (just in case you guys ever stumble across Missoula) meant we were pointed in the direction of a club called 'Badlander', home to this year's annual 'TotalFest'. Yes, I know you are all jealous that we managed to lay our hands on tickets to this prestigious event. Al and I had a pretty entertaining evening drinking the local brew and listening to the woes of angst-ridden heavy metal bands (okay, the lead singer of the Narrows did only have one leg, which was perhaps an excuse for melancholy, but - Fitz of Depression - other than only knowing 3 chords, what was troubling you?).

Perhaps you should go and take a look in this guy in the local gentleman's outfitters - he knows how to have a good time...

To the coast via Hell

's Canyon (the deepest canyon on the continent, though unfortunately on fire, so no plumbing the depths for Al and Dev).

A long drive across Oregon ahead, but we hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in our dreams (it wasn't very blue in San Fran).

I'm going to ask Al to take over the driving so I can tan my other arm out of the window.

Tara for now.

Canyon lands to Rockies

OK, it's a new contributor this time around, as Dev has taken on an editorial role only. I'll try to match her wordsmanship.

Big is best!

My brother recently told me that his baby daughter put on 12 ounces in a week. An incredible statistic to the starved people of Europe no doubt, but having spent the last month putting on a similar amount over breakfast each day, I shrugged it off disinterestedly. Last night was the first time we've been served a normal sized portion of food (i.e. one that doesn't require stomach surgery to finish). We were so overjoyed we immediately ordered ice cream for pudding. As such, we heartily recommend the cajun cuisine of 'Crave' in Crested Butte (pronounced 'beaut' to anyone sniggering) in the heart of skiing country in the Rockies. If I were a winter sports nut I would definitely head to Colorado.

For summer folk, Colorado is also a great place to come. A very nice chap from Kansas called 'Randy' - I thought it was a name you only found in movies, too - directed us towards a sensational hike up to the peak of Courthouse Mountain (12,152 ft) where a 360 degree view affords clear vistas south and west to Utah and north and east further into the mountains.

Canyons!

The 'big' theme continued when we entered Utah and stayed at Zion and Bryce (above right) National Parks. These are the first two 'steps' down which culminate in the Grand Canyon (above left) in Arizona. All three are amazing and were forged not by glaciers like Yosemite valley, but by the gradual erosive force of rivers and weather. A huge fire started by a lightning strike meant that most of the backcountry of Zion was closed off to visitors. It was still raging after five days. It doesn't take much to escape the tour buses and plump families. If you're willing to hike up some steep trails, it's worth the effort. The Emerald Pools at Zion, the 'Peekaboo' trail at Bryce and the descent (and lung-busting ascent) to the depths of the Grand Canyon weren't overrun by grockles.

The motor car - an American obsession

Other strange Bigness relates to the American obsession with enormous vehicles. The zealous residents of the borough of Richmond, who have welcomed the increased tax on 4x4s, would look agog at the vast behemoths that cruise the highways of the US. In 4 weeks we have seen only two hatchbacks. True, the roads are bigger and the streets wider in cities, but the sight of an RV towing a boat and an SUV beggars belief. The square footage of living space in those things is about double your average Tooting two-bedroomer.

The Chevvy

See attached photo of a car fit for the cannonball run, which goes from nought to sixty in about 2.5 minutes, does roughly ten miles to the gallon, and gives off the same amount of emissions as Sweden does in a year. Wait - that's not fair. She's a trusted companion who is yet to let us down. Although, I'm a bit nervous that the dashboard keeps telling me to 'change oil soon'. A further delight is that it bleeps at you for failing to do just about anything - there's no escaping the nanny state. That said, I love her. If only she weren't an automatic...

Navajo Country

I'm currently reading 'Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee', an Indian account of the history of the American West, 1860-90. It's a one-sided account for sure, but what is clear is the litany of broken treaties that effectively robbed all Indian tribes of their land (principally for gold, other metals and minerals and for white settlers to farm the land) and relocated them into reservations in the crappiest land available. We passed through the Navajo reservation in Arizona and one thing that immediately becomes apparent is the poverty of its inhabitants. Sure, Monument Valley is stunning and our Navajo guide, Dan, was great, but he seemed very sad that the current generation is reluctant to learn the native language and is slowly leaving the reservation in search of jobs. He can see his heritage ebbing away.

Monument Valley

We've all seen the westerns - Clint Eastwood having a hairy time in 'The Geiger somethingorother' and John Wayne doing stuff like taking 'em to Missouri, but the buttes of sandstone are staggering in their size and beauty. We were followed through the desert by an angry lightning storm, which produced an amazing matinee and evening show for us. When it was over, I seemed to have gained a fiance and lost the family diamonds. It's strange how you get swept away by the moment.

Wildlife

OK - a quick resume for you.

Skunk (do not approach from behind), raccoons, chipmunks, chikadees, Kaibab squirrel, the rump and tail of a mountain lion (or so Dev says), beavers (they were busy), humming birds, hawks, woodpeckers, a rattlesnake (do not prod with a stick, Dev) and lots of other stuff too. I'm hoping to 'bag' a bear (black or Grizzly, I'm not fussy) and a Buffalo in Yellowstone. Which is where we're headed next. And then to Grand Teton and the Snake River Country.

Hope you're all still on dry land.

Pip pip for now!

Week two - the extremes of the US

What an amazing country this is. You can almost start to appreciate why so few Americans hold passports when you're here. There really is something for everyone. In a matter of a week, we've gone from breathtaking (literally at 10,000 ft) wilderness in the Sierra Nevada to the Disney-on-speed excess of Vegas, via Death Valley.

Here's a little potted history of the last week or so.

The Sierra Nevada

The Big Man wanted to see Big Trees, so Sequoia Natural Park - home to the General Sherman Sequoia tree (the largest living thing on the planet) seemed like a natural place to go.

Al had his heart set on the Mineral King area. The 26-mile road leading to this part of Sequoia has 968 bends (or curves, as the Americans call them in the mother of all understatements) and takes 1.5 hours to drive. As a result, most people stick to the main drag, in so doing, missing out on some truly spectacular back country. Our camping spot was next to a mountain stream at 7,500 ft, complete with fire ring (on which you cook), a picnic table and a bear safe. This is effectively a large metal box into which you are obliged to store all food and anything else with a scent (news to me - bears have a penchant for soap). You can't leave it in your car, as bears can use their claws to peel apart your motor like you or I would open a can of beans.

Sadly (no, perhaps gladly, given the fact above) we have seen no sud-loving bears yet, but plenty of other wildlife. Our favourites so far have been the chickadees. Not just a term of endearment, but also a critter than looks much like a small stripy squirrel. Perhaps we could keep some in our new garden in Cheltenham? We've also met marmots (not as sweet as they sound - as you sit admiring a marmot mum and her babes, her relative is likely to be under your bonnet chewing through your electrics, or perhaps your brake cables). We also met an inquisitive chipmunk while we ate our lunch beside an eerily silent mountain lake at 10,000ft.

At this elevation, a mild incline makes you puff as your body calls out for more oxygen. Our two 8-9 mile hikes while we were in Mineral King certainly counteracted the artery-clogging breakfasts we've been enjoying (of which more later). However, the wide views of the Sierra Nevada from that altitude are truly worth the screaming lungs.

We were more than ready for a motel by the time we left the Sierra Nevada and after 8 nights camping. US campsites are pretty amazing - most have showers and proper 'rest rooms', though in our last three nights in the mountains, we were reliant on our mountain stream for showers - more refreshing than effective. As a result, by the time we rolled into Vegas - via Death Valley - we were pretty stinky. Al was sporting a fine Californian-style beard (do they love their facial hair), and I was looking decidedly grimy and - let's face it - a bit Beth Ditto in the underarm department.

Death Valley

So, we'd seen the largest living thing on the planet, now for the hottest place on earth - Death Valley. After an early start from our camp spot in the southern Sierra Nevada, we hit Death Valley pretty much at midday. Talk about mad dogs and Englishmen, though even the hounds had more sense than this.

Like so much US scenery, Death Valley is massive and spectacular. Unbelievable that those white settlers who stumbled through in 1849 ever made it out. We stepped out of the car at 117 degrees F (about 46deg C) and it was like a hair dryer. Further on, the car thermometer registered 124deg F. After about an hour's drive through the valley, which no other visible living thing save your fellow crazy English visitors, it begins to weigh down on you. Will we ever get out of here? Will the chevy make it? After 2 hours driving through mile after mile of this arid salt-encrusted landscape, we were glad to be finally climbing up out of the valley and to see the thermometer drop.

Glad we went, glad we didn't have to stay any longer.

To Vegas!

What can I write about Vegas that hasn't already been said? You have to see it to believe it. 110 deg F, more fake titties than I've ever seen and 'hotels' the size of Euro-Disney.

We leave $120 richer between the two of us, having had a cracking night out at New York New York casino with some new-found Georgian friends, BeeBee, Matthew and Huntley. Love the names, guys, love the accents more. Thanks, Ezequiel, our Mexican croupier, for our happy lucky evening.

So, off back for a dose of wilderness to purge our bodies of the toxic artificialities and excess of Vegas (free drinks - good but bad, yeah?).

Breakfast deserves a separate posting - too big to put down here, so will end this for now.

Hope UK is happy and, dare I hope, sunny? Let's hope they've got it right about the forecast for 14th so you guys get some sun.

People from British do San Fran and Monterey

So, one week already gone, and quickly too. America, it's portion sizes, scenery and people are bigger thank we could have imagined. We're currently surviving (well) on two meals a day.

3 days in San Fran (we first went to bed 24hours after getting up, so hit jetlag on the head pretty easily). It's an interesting city of contrasts - our first day in broad sunshine to enjoy the gravity-defying city, the remainder mostly in the famous fog. Contrasts too in affluence and poverty - we enviously eyed up the palaces of Pacific Heights with their manicured lawns, but had to step over countless bums, homeless people and their 'shopping cart' homes. A bit of a shock, really, in the land of the free and opportunity.

By day three we were itching to get out of the city, and made our way down Route 1 to Monterey - the road trip begins! Some classic tunes on the car stereo thanks to all of you who have provided ideas and CDs. We most definitely like Pina Colada and getting caught in the rain.

And after four nights in the big outdoors, Al and Dev are now officially Happy Campers. Mostly getting good nights sleep under canvas, though rowdy raccoons have distubed our last two nights' sleep. Little bastards seem to have a penchant for ice, and noisily crunched their way through a half a bag of ice cubes we'd left out. Let's hope the bears don't like ice.

Stars of Monterey have definitely been the sea otters - thanks Liz for that tip - could have watched them all day. Also Big Sur, which we did yesterday- jaw-dropping scenery. The Pacific, like so many other things here, is massive.

I can't really do this justice in words, so will try and post some pictures next time I write.

From now, we're off to Sequoia National Park - home of big trees, mountains and bears. And just to ensure we appreciate the contrasts of this place fully, we'll follow that up with Vegas. Bring it on.

So, I'll leave you with some wise words of one of our fellow campers to Al last night:
"So, are you guys from British?"

Well, kind of.

Tara for now.

A toe in the blogosphere

I'd been mulling over the idea of setting up a blog to record thoughts and experiences on our US roadtrip for some time. I sounded some people out on it - 'I'm thinking about setting up a blog when I go to America - keep people in the loop about what we're doing; post some photos; perhaps make some philosophical remarks about the state of the United States...'.

'Yes', said everyone, 'great idea - I'd read it'.

Well. That's everyone except Al.

'What do you want to do that for?'.

Good question. I'm not on Facebook, Bebo, SecondLife or any of the others - sounds like licenced stalking to me (though Tom and Hazel's idea of a Facebook page for my parents' chickens does sound ace). But Web 2.0/ social networking holds a strange thrall for me. I think it's the egocentric appeal of thinking that someone else might possibly be interested in your life, your universe, and everything.

So here's why:

1. Given that we're taking 8 weeks out of the rat race to fulfil a dream of a US road trip, I want to keep a journal (however sporadic) of our travels.
2. There's quite a lot to talk about with the States - the political climate (no pun intended), the 'cultural' references (is it really like the movies?), the people (more naive/ fat/ optimistic than us Brits?), the landscape (I'm sure often forgotten amongst everything else)
3. Maybe people will stop suggesting I join Facebook (though I note I haven't had any invites to be anyones friend. Humph)

So, blogosphere. Show me what you've got. Will anyone ever read this? Who knows. The great joy is, it doesn't matter. At least it fulfils objective 1.

Anyway, already I can see there is a great temptation to ramble on a blog. So I'll stop now. Hopefully further posts will be a bit more interesting, as they should happen when my feet are firmly on US soil and my fingers firmly on a US keyboard.

So long for now.

PS my one secret mission is to get Al to do a posting on this blog. My hopes are slim - he's a stubborn old bastard - but watch this space.